Sunday, April 13, 2014
Saturday, April 5, 2014
What's the Funniest Internet Video Ever...
Oh god... you gotta put someone on the spot like that when there are sooooo many candidates...
That whole line. And I mean, this whole line below...
This is the best one?
I'll come up with more as I remember them...THANKS A LOT!
That whole line. And I mean, this whole line below...
This is the best one?
I'll come up with more as I remember them...THANKS A LOT!
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Good to Ze Last Drop.
Hi, you're not here right now to make me giggle so I have to try to think of something we've been doing that's made us giggle. Yes, I'm a grown man who is saying he giggles. Hyuck, Hyuck hyuck.
Better than your FACETIOUS LAUGH! This blog is not "Something to Make Ashley Facetious Laugh." You BEST remember that.
What the hell did I do last night to make you laugh in bed? I can't remember. It's impossible to remember all the jokes we make - they're so random, so constant, so often.
FUCK JENNY MCCARTHY. FUCKING HO GETS TO TELL PEOPLE HOW TO RAISE CHILDREN CUZ SHE HAWKS FUCKOFF FAKE CIGARETTES AND FLAPS HER FAKE TITS AROUND???
Sorry. I was watching TV.
Forgot to take my Metamucil tonight.
Better than your FACETIOUS LAUGH! This blog is not "Something to Make Ashley Facetious Laugh." You BEST remember that.
What the hell did I do last night to make you laugh in bed? I can't remember. It's impossible to remember all the jokes we make - they're so random, so constant, so often.
FUCK JENNY MCCARTHY. FUCKING HO GETS TO TELL PEOPLE HOW TO RAISE CHILDREN CUZ SHE HAWKS FUCKOFF FAKE CIGARETTES AND FLAPS HER FAKE TITS AROUND???
Sorry. I was watching TV.
Forgot to take my Metamucil tonight.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Thursday, February 7, 2013
We Might Be Back...
Headzookaroo.
You smell like Sauerkraut.
Dr. Zhivago, Close Encounter, and Bridge on the River Kwai - a LEAN night!
I should probably change the background picture on this - Mad Men was too heavy last season. Bad memories!
...There we go! All better!
This blog may need to come back now, because although you have received a promotion at your job, you are not exactly where you want to be yet. And that's okay! You know you have put in all the right work, you have paid all the correct dues. You keep pushing, you will force the world's hand. You will be rewarded my love! You won't be stopped!
Your home is where you find your love. I'm sorry that you have to travel all the time just to go back and forth to your job, but that will change.
For now, just deal with my family, and all their backhanded shiftiness, and feel comfort in the knowledge that I continue to write. That alone should help you rest easy. Mwah hahahahaha...
You smell like Sauerkraut.
Dr. Zhivago, Close Encounter, and Bridge on the River Kwai - a LEAN night!
I should probably change the background picture on this - Mad Men was too heavy last season. Bad memories!
...There we go! All better!
This blog may need to come back now, because although you have received a promotion at your job, you are not exactly where you want to be yet. And that's okay! You know you have put in all the right work, you have paid all the correct dues. You keep pushing, you will force the world's hand. You will be rewarded my love! You won't be stopped!
Your home is where you find your love. I'm sorry that you have to travel all the time just to go back and forth to your job, but that will change.
For now, just deal with my family, and all their backhanded shiftiness, and feel comfort in the knowledge that I continue to write. That alone should help you rest easy. Mwah hahahahaha...
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Ashley Renee Huff, M.A.
It is unbelievable.
After everything you faced, everything placed against you, everything that set you up to make it so tempting to fail, to give in -
- you succeeded.
I can't even begin to describe how amazing you are, and how amazing this is. You took a great, great risk coming to a place in order to make your life better. A place completely unknown, a place filled with people completely unknown, with so many questions left just weeks before you moved here (like, where we were going to live for example), and you beat it all.
Remember when we first came here? The struggle you had to go through, making the decision on your own to leave home after years away, working do get your degree? You didn't want to leave, you didn't want to move so far away from home. Away from the people who loved you and supported you, just so you could take a risk on a program you didn't know much about, at school you knew nothing about. It wasn't your first choice -
- 50% would have given up there. Stayed at Sherwin Williams. Kept looking for jobs.
It wasn't your second choice -
- 80% would have mailed it in there. Stayed at Sherwin...maybe imagine thumbing through the classifieds.
It was your third choice. Remember what happened next?
You still came to Michigan anyway. You knew then that, in order to do anything you wanted in your life, to even have a chance, you had to do it. There was no moving forward UNTIL you did this.
Then...the program sucked. It wasn't what you wanted at all.
...and this place was filled with idiots. Do I smell bacon???...
I'm a fly-ass-bitch...
Two-fifty a CAAAEYYEAYYYNNNN...
She is...impossibly ugly...
- I believe 100% of the rest of the world would have, after they burned this place to the fucking ground, quit and went home. And you know what? I wouldn't have blamed them. I wouldn't have blamed you. You had endured more than anyone else would have through only the first year, and going home would have been a fine option. You could have tried to go to school somewhere else. You could have just washed your hands of this experiment, these Michighingherans, and went on your merry way.
After all, people were still looking at you like you were from Mars. It's like they didn't understand the language you were speaking. Their mouths were half-open, their brows were furrowed...they'd never understand you. Friends? Try having a normal conversation with anyone. It didn't seem possible.
And yet.
Never did you seriously waver. Sure, you said you wanted to go home, but you knew what was waiting for you if you did. So you did what no one else - no one else - would have done.
You pressed on. You tried harder. You made people see what a good person you were, and they had no choice to become your friend.
You worked harder than anyone else in your class, and your grades showed it.
You fostered more good will than anyone else could have in your place. Christ, you led a student organization here! Who the hell else would have worked so hard with so little in your place??? Honestly, I guarantee you can't think of a single other person.
Even still, after that - when no one lifted one fuck finger to help you with anything in AMP - you didn't quit. I don't know how many times I told you to tell those dumb, lazyasses to go fuck themselves when you told me your horror stories, and you would have been fully justified in taking my advice.
Lots of people would have. But you knew better.
You always knew better.
You kept us here when things seemed at their worst. Your sheer determination even kept me going. I know it doesn't seem like I worked hard enough, and I haven't finished in time when I definitely could have -
- but no one. No one in my life has helped me get farther than you have.
And I'm going to finish college. It's all because of you.
It's because of your perfect example. Your optimism that you were going to make a difference in this world. You are definitely going to do that. I know you will. Nothing will hold you back. You've shown me that these past two years.
And now, because of all that: because of everything you endured, everything you faced, every challenge you have risen to here, in Michigan -
- you have your Master's degree.
You, Ashley Huff, are now:
Ashley Huff, M.A.
(I hope I'm spelling that right. Haha.)
I love you. I am unbelievably proud of you, and I am honored you are a part of my life. You are the greatest person I have known, or ever will know.
Thank you for being my role model my love.
With all my love,
Me : )
(and Bryn!)
After everything you faced, everything placed against you, everything that set you up to make it so tempting to fail, to give in -
- you succeeded.
I can't even begin to describe how amazing you are, and how amazing this is. You took a great, great risk coming to a place in order to make your life better. A place completely unknown, a place filled with people completely unknown, with so many questions left just weeks before you moved here (like, where we were going to live for example), and you beat it all.
Remember when we first came here? The struggle you had to go through, making the decision on your own to leave home after years away, working do get your degree? You didn't want to leave, you didn't want to move so far away from home. Away from the people who loved you and supported you, just so you could take a risk on a program you didn't know much about, at school you knew nothing about. It wasn't your first choice -
- 50% would have given up there. Stayed at Sherwin Williams. Kept looking for jobs.
It wasn't your second choice -
- 80% would have mailed it in there. Stayed at Sherwin...maybe imagine thumbing through the classifieds.
It was your third choice. Remember what happened next?
You still came to Michigan anyway. You knew then that, in order to do anything you wanted in your life, to even have a chance, you had to do it. There was no moving forward UNTIL you did this.
Then...the program sucked. It wasn't what you wanted at all.
...and this place was filled with idiots. Do I smell bacon???...
I'm a fly-ass-bitch...
Two-fifty a CAAAEYYEAYYYNNNN...
She is...impossibly ugly...
- I believe 100% of the rest of the world would have, after they burned this place to the fucking ground, quit and went home. And you know what? I wouldn't have blamed them. I wouldn't have blamed you. You had endured more than anyone else would have through only the first year, and going home would have been a fine option. You could have tried to go to school somewhere else. You could have just washed your hands of this experiment, these Michighingherans, and went on your merry way.
After all, people were still looking at you like you were from Mars. It's like they didn't understand the language you were speaking. Their mouths were half-open, their brows were furrowed...they'd never understand you. Friends? Try having a normal conversation with anyone. It didn't seem possible.
And yet.
Never did you seriously waver. Sure, you said you wanted to go home, but you knew what was waiting for you if you did. So you did what no one else - no one else - would have done.
You pressed on. You tried harder. You made people see what a good person you were, and they had no choice to become your friend.
You worked harder than anyone else in your class, and your grades showed it.
You fostered more good will than anyone else could have in your place. Christ, you led a student organization here! Who the hell else would have worked so hard with so little in your place??? Honestly, I guarantee you can't think of a single other person.
Even still, after that - when no one lifted one fuck finger to help you with anything in AMP - you didn't quit. I don't know how many times I told you to tell those dumb, lazyasses to go fuck themselves when you told me your horror stories, and you would have been fully justified in taking my advice.
Lots of people would have. But you knew better.
You always knew better.
You kept us here when things seemed at their worst. Your sheer determination even kept me going. I know it doesn't seem like I worked hard enough, and I haven't finished in time when I definitely could have -
- but no one. No one in my life has helped me get farther than you have.
And I'm going to finish college. It's all because of you.
It's because of your perfect example. Your optimism that you were going to make a difference in this world. You are definitely going to do that. I know you will. Nothing will hold you back. You've shown me that these past two years.
And now, because of all that: because of everything you endured, everything you faced, every challenge you have risen to here, in Michigan -
- you have your Master's degree.
You, Ashley Huff, are now:
Ashley Huff, M.A.
(I hope I'm spelling that right. Haha.)
I love you. I am unbelievably proud of you, and I am honored you are a part of my life. You are the greatest person I have known, or ever will know.
Thank you for being my role model my love.
With all my love,
Me : )
(and Bryn!)
Sunday, June 26, 2011
100 Minutes Until Your Birthday!
Soak it in...whoops! 99 minutes!!
I don't think I'm going to talk all the way through this, counting down the 100 minutes - I will say that I am truly the most greatest luckiest guy ever to have you love me, and I thank every day that I have with you! I will also say that though I am not perfect, you are the driving force that makes me want to be as great as I can be, or as great as I could be!
With the exception of my momma, no other woman in my life has meant more to me than you have! That's not saying anything against Katie, or Elaine...I just know that you have changed my life so much for the better, in these past two years, that I can't even describe it.
96 minutes!
I've tried so much harder to write since I've known you, and I HAVE used your typewriter! One of, if not THE best gifts I've ever gotten!
This shouldn't be about my love for you...this is your birthday! Yaaay! How does it feel to be 23 for...94 more minutes?? 24 is a strange age - it's right on the cusp of the 'holy crap' feeling of 25, haha...
I'm gonna go check your Tumblr right now, see what you're up to, since all my AWESOME Twitter ideas for you you've rejected...hold on here, let me see what you're up to!
...
92 minutes...
...that pic of that East 4th sign is a little blurry, but still so cool...cot damn you're cool...
Oh, and Incubus?? Well, I have one question, that I'm gonna go answer right now...
...
90 minutes...
...Brandon Boyd is 35 years old! You go have him fall in love with you! Haha...
Anyway - I hope your birthday this year is the best; I know we're gonna have to go back to Michigan after your birthday, but just remember: your birthday next year will not be in Michigan! At least we'll be done with what we need to do anyway there! Yay n' stuff!
Anyway, I'll cut this off now before I start to ramble. I love you, and you're 88 minutes away from being 24! 87 minutes now! Let's make this your best year ever my love!
I LOVE YOU!
(miscur!)
I don't think I'm going to talk all the way through this, counting down the 100 minutes - I will say that I am truly the most greatest luckiest guy ever to have you love me, and I thank every day that I have with you! I will also say that though I am not perfect, you are the driving force that makes me want to be as great as I can be, or as great as I could be!
With the exception of my momma, no other woman in my life has meant more to me than you have! That's not saying anything against Katie, or Elaine...I just know that you have changed my life so much for the better, in these past two years, that I can't even describe it.
96 minutes!
I've tried so much harder to write since I've known you, and I HAVE used your typewriter! One of, if not THE best gifts I've ever gotten!
This shouldn't be about my love for you...this is your birthday! Yaaay! How does it feel to be 23 for...94 more minutes?? 24 is a strange age - it's right on the cusp of the 'holy crap' feeling of 25, haha...
I'm gonna go check your Tumblr right now, see what you're up to, since all my AWESOME Twitter ideas for you you've rejected...hold on here, let me see what you're up to!
...
92 minutes...
...that pic of that East 4th sign is a little blurry, but still so cool...cot damn you're cool...
Oh, and Incubus?? Well, I have one question, that I'm gonna go answer right now...
...
90 minutes...
...Brandon Boyd is 35 years old! You go have him fall in love with you! Haha...
Anyway - I hope your birthday this year is the best; I know we're gonna have to go back to Michigan after your birthday, but just remember: your birthday next year will not be in Michigan! At least we'll be done with what we need to do anyway there! Yay n' stuff!
Anyway, I'll cut this off now before I start to ramble. I love you, and you're 88 minutes away from being 24! 87 minutes now! Let's make this your best year ever my love!
I LOVE YOU!
(miscur!)
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